nut hugger
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
