Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There r osticjed everywhere
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
