Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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