can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she pinky promised me she was 18
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
