Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
