Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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