p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
