absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
