A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
