it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
