we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
