My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
