Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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