K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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