I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
