im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
