Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So many bounce houses so little time
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
