I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
