i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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