the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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