I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize