There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize