you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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