One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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