well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
