After last night, I could never be a politician.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
