We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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