Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
