u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
