No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
