Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
