Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
