On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She tied me up with her honor cords...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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