Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
