I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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