New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
