so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
