It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Terrible idea I love it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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