I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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