so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
