How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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