I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
