i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
