i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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