he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
