just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize