he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
