whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
