just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
