Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
