He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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