so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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