My hair reeks of homosexuality.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
