I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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