I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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