The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize