Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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