That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
