thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
