I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
