Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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