I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
being pregnant is like rehab
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I would ride that face into the sunset
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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