Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
